The weight of the wait
by naybaybay
Summary: A young actress is killed, at first the body appears untouched, which makes life difficult for the detective and the writer. Castle and Beckett work their way through a web of deceit to find the truth, and end up with more than one kind of confession!
1. Chapter 1

Hey folks, so this is my very first Castle story - eep! I can't believe it has taken me this long.

I used to write a bit of CSI fanfiction but that silly thing known as life and the responsibilities that go with it keep intervening and I find I just don't get the time. I have been absolutely LOVING Season 4 of Castle so far - Cops and Robbers (ZOMG!)

So I really wanted to write a Caskett fic, as I am now a HUGE shipper. This will be 7 chapters, and I will post a chapter a day for a week :-)

I hope you all enjoy - please comment if you get the chance and thanks for reading!

DISCLAIMER: Andrew Marlowe is more than welcome to leave Castle to me in his will - until then, I have no show (No pun intended!)

**CHAPTER 1**

Castle sat at his office desk, reading a the New York Times. The title of this particular article read:

"RICHARD CASTLE: CHAMP OR CHUMP**?****" **

The article talked mostly about what Castle referred to as "That other series"; the Derrick Storm novels and then began to touch on the sensitive subject that his mother oft brought up. His possible over-involvement with the NYPD.

"Some may wonder what the mystery writer's intentions truly are. He has been shadowing members of the NYPD for more than three years now, and people are starting to believe that he fancies himself more of a cop than he does a writer. "I'm just waiting on my honorary badge now", Castle was quoted as saying today, flashing his prized grin.

Castle shook his head - stupid. He continued to read.

"Everyone is aware that he has been "Playing cop", to gain insight into the minds of killers and the inner workings of the homicide unit for his new series of mystery/crime novels surrounding the character "Nikki Heat". But after two successful books having been released already, surely he has identified well enough with his muse to write an entire library of books. The real-life Nikki Heat, Det. Katherine Beckett does not regularly comment on her opinion of her alter-ego, but as for the author, she has this to say. "Mr. Castle has become an invaluable part of this team. There have been many cases where his insights have proven extremely useful to our investigations; and I now consider him to be my partner."

Castle wondered how hard she had to bite her tongue to get that lot out, but it still made him feel warm inside.

"But many people are saying they don't feel entirely comfortable with the idea of an untrained, unarmed civilian parading the streets, and questioning them. After all, Mr. Castle has never taken an oath to protect any more than his own image, and what exactly he is trying to make that be, is unclear."

Castle looked at the last line, fixated on it. It wasn't until his phone rang that he finally diverted his eyes. He looked at the caller I.D - KB it said on it.

With a small sigh, he hit the call button and put the phone to his ear.

"Hey Beckett", he said melancholily. He could feel Beckett's brow furrow on the other end. "Castle, are you ok? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah", he said halfheartedly. "I assume we have a murder".

Beckett replied, concern evident in her voice "Well we do but if you're not feeling up to it then..."

"No, no", Castle said quickly. "No I'll be there, what's the address?"

"It's on the corner of 59th and Lexington, but seriously though Castle, if you're not up to it, I think I could manage one case without you." Beckett smiled into the phone.

"I will be there Beckett", Castle snarled slightly into the phone, and hung up.

Whoa. Beckett blinked. That wasn't like her Castle at all.

"Wait", she thinks to herself. "Did I really just think the words "My Castle?" Shaking her head, she picked up her jacket off the back of her chair and walked to the elevator of the precinct.

Beckett was leaning up against the barrier of a stone staircase outside the victim's apartment when Castle arrived.

She gave him a dazzling smile. "What, no coffee?" she joked.

Castle shut his eyes, looking like he wanted to kick himself. How could he forget the sacred ritual of bringing their morning coffee?

Seeing the look on his face, Beckett's smile faltered. She tapped his forearm.

"Hey, I'm only kidding."

He still looked guilty. Beckett tried to say something to make him smile. "It's not like we're married and you usually bring me a red rose every day, but then suddenly one day you forget. That would mean something, but this; it's only coffee." She smiled gently up at him.

"Are you telling me you want me to start bringing you a red rose every day from now on?" he only half joked, still looking moody.

Beckett bit the inside of her cheek, looking slightly flushed. "I'm a cop, the coffee is more useful." Castle nodded. They began to walk inside.

"So come on, tell me. Something is obviously troubling you." Castle gave her a quick glance and then took an interest in the floor. "Do you-" he started but couldn't finish.

"What?" Beckett instantly pried. Castle almost smiled at just her sweet insistence. "Do you think I'm a chump?" He mainly asked the floor.

Beckett sighed. "So, you read the times this morning huh?"

"Yes!" Castle groaned.

Beckett looked at him sympathetically, he was adorable when he got all perplexed and pouty like this.

"You know Castle these people, these reporters, they're not psychologists."

Castle watched her as she continued. "I mean what do they know about anything? You're a successful writer, something that none of them ever achieved. They're probably just envious that you get to be out being inspired by this city, writing books that have a huge, dedicated fan base and the majority of their time is spent in a cramped little office, writing on hundred year old typewriters, stuff that people read once at most and then never again."

Castle shrugged. "I think they might have actually started using computers last month though". Beckett laughed and her eyes eyes sparkled as they caught the last ray of light before they reached the shade of the interior of the apartment building. "Do not tell anybody I said this but you're kind of cute when you're moody."

Castle couldn't hold back the smile this time.

They rode the elevator in silence, there was a silent agreement that they had nearly reached the line between co-workers and lovers already today, and it wasn't even 10 o'clock.

They walked into a light room on the 5th floor. Lanie leaned over a young blonde.

"Hey Lanie", Kate greeted her.

"Don't ask me, I don't know", Lanie said matter-of-factly.

Kate brow furrowed, confused. "Ask you what?"

"Anything! She's been here for three to five days, that's about all I can tell you." Lanie sighed as she stood up. "I've been here for a half hour and I am totally stumped for the first time in a long time."

"About the body?" Castle asked.

"About the victim", Lanie said, giving him a look.

He looked at his feet, he definitely wasn't on form today.

Lanie then felt a little guilty. "Hey by the way Castle, hot photo in the times today", she said, trying to rectify her rudeness.

Beckett instantly grimaced. Castle slowly looked up at Lanie, with dark eyes.

"Well if the body isn't speaking to us, we'll just have to learn from the scene," Beckett said quickly, in an attempt to move away from the awkwardness of the moment.

"Uh, yeah well that's your domain girl, Lanie said looking shiftily at Castle, confused at his behavior. Still drawling out her words she said, "I've collected fingernail scrapings, but didn't see any kind of a struggle, well on the bod- the victim anyway. This room is a whole other story though, it's the only reason we were even called in, place is a mess. I've run a sexual-assault kit, no findings there, although there was evidence of intimate relations shortly before death."

She still had her eye on Castle who had crossed the room and was now sitting at a bay window. She turned to Beckett and whispered. "What's his deal?"

Beckett shook her head. "You didn't actually read the article in the times this morning did you?" "Girl, I didn't even see the picture, Javi just told me there was an obnoxiously large photo of our resident writer in the times! You know I don't read the newspaper, I don't need to read about the bad stuff that goes on in this town, I see enough of it at work, and chances are if it's in the paper, I already know about it." Lanie shot back.

Beckett lowered her voice. "The tabloids are saying that Castle is becoming some kind of a sad cling-on to the department."

"Well he kinda is", Lanie said obviously. Beckett was surprised at how offended she felt by that comment.

"Wait a second", Lanie eyed Beckett suspiciously. "You're starting to get quite attached to Mr. Writer Boy aren't you?"

"He saved my life Lanie, more than once, and he saved yours, and half of the city's as well." Wow, Beckett thought to herself, he really did do those things, a swell of devotion washed over her.

Lanie smirked, nodding her head. "It's not until you're forced to defend someone that you realize how special they are, is it?" With one last pointed look at Beckett, she walked out of the room.

Beckett bit her lip, Lanie had played her well. She turned to look at Castle who was still sitting at the window, staring blankly out of it. Taking a breath, she crossed the room and sat next to him as the EMT crew removed the seemingly undisturbed body from the room.

Deciding more words were not what he needed right now, she gently placed a hand on his thigh. She noticed him swallow a lump in his throat. "They don't know what it means you know,", he said suddenly. Beckett waited for him to continue. "I was never good at much else, writing was all I ever felt good doing. Maybe they're right though, maybe it's time to move on to a new series."

Beckett's eyes widened. Oh god, she was actually panicking at the prospect of no more Nikki Heat. And of course, No more Castle.

"Castle, you are the only one who can write the way you write. That's why people love your books. As annoyed as I first was with it, I now know what you saw in the idea of Nikki Heat." She couldn't believe she was about to say something so prophetic to him. "It's genius Castle, it's inspired."

Slowly his head turned, eyes narrowed, the ghost of a smirk on his lips.

Beckett felt herself blushing again. He put his hand on top of hers which was still rested on his thigh. She looked down at it, remembering another time when they had sat just like this.

"Thank you, really", he said in a tone so soft, reserved especially for her. She gave him a sweet smile. "I'm lucky I've been so successful as a writer but I still get a lot of scrutiny thrown my way at times."

"Least of all from Gates", she joked. Castle laughed. Beckett wondered if she should shrug his hand off of hers, before she could come to a conclusion, he'd lifted his off and turned back to stare out the window at pedestrians. She almost felt the urge to tug it back.

"Castle", she muttered. He craned his neck around. "I'm going to need all the help I can get with this case. From what it appears, there's no worldly explanation as to why she's even dead. I could use a few crazy theories."

Castle beamed and opened his arms. "I'm your man."


	2. Chapter 2

2

Back at the 12th, Castle and Beckett were sitting at the desk, drinking their coffee that Castle had insisted on picking up on the way from the crime scene.

Esposito came into the room, a photo in hand.

"Uniforms picked up the wallet of our victim. Belongs to one Alana Vestig, an up and coming actress, who just landed a lead role on that new sit-com "Girl about town". Looks like our mystery death girl was sitting in quite an enviable position.

"Yeah well, not so much now", Castle pointed out.

"Our victim's death may not be quite the mystery we first thought." Ryan came up behind him. "Tox screen came back, copious amounts of Tetrodotoxin were found in her blood."

Beckett took the tox report from him "Tetrodotoxin? The Pufferfish Poison?"

Castle stood up. "So she could've just eaten the wrong part of a poisonous fish. A few years ago I was in Thailand, went there for the scenery." He gave Esposito a discreet wink.

Beckett rolled her eyes. Castle continued "Pufferfish is a delicacy over there. Eating a certain part of the backbone won't kill you, but it will have you doing a little version of lucy in the sky with diamonds."

"Where would someone go to eat pufferfish around New York city then?"

"Exclusive Idiots Club?" Esposito offered.

"There's something else", Ryan said. "Our victim was in the late stages of Hepatitis C."

"I never saw any medication in the house", Castle pointed out.

Beckett shrugged. "If she was in the late stages of it, she may have decided to give up."

"That makes no sense, she just landed one of the hottest gigs on television", Castle mused.

"Do we have any details on next of kin?" Beckett asked Ryan.

"Vic's sister, Melanie Vestig, resident of 1833 University Ave, The Bronx."

A woman, slightly older than the victim, but very similar in looks, sat in her living room, tears wetting her cheeks.

"You never think it will be someone you know. Even in this city. I mean retrospective of this neighborhood, where Alana lived was a haven."

"Miss Vestig, were you aware that that your sister was carrying the Hepatitis C virus?"

Beckett asked softly, she could really get on someone's case when they were guilty but she always had a comforting way of talking to people that she believed were innocent.

Melanie Vestig shook her head. "What? No. I had no idea. Why would she not tell me that? We shared everything."

"Miss Vestig, did Alana have any enemies?" Beckett pried.

Her sister sniffed. "She'd just beaten out seven hundred girls to play that new TV part she got, so I'd say she had a few rivals, but why are you asking me this? I thought Alana died from eating poisonous fish?"

"There were signs of a struggle at her apartment. Was Alana seeing anyone Miss Vestig?" Castle asked this time.

"You mean romantically? She just broke up with someone actually. Michael Zivanovic, he's an actor too."

"Do you have his address?", Beckett asked.

"I might have it here somewhere, I'll take a look for you. Surely you don't think he might've done something to hurt Alana?"

"Just ruling out every possibility". Beckett tried to sound soothing.

"When you find out who infected poor Lana, you'll let me know won't you?"

Beckett nodded, slightly hesitantly. "Of course."

While the two ladies had been talking, a small sandy haired toddler had made his way into the living room, and was now staring up at Castle with an interested expression. Castle reached out his index finger to tickle the young boy, who patted it back down with a toothy grin.

Beckett who was watching the interaction, bit her lip so as not to smile too widely in front of the grief-stricken woman on her right.

"Your son?" She asked Melanie. Melanie nodded, looking at him with fondness. "Tyler."

"Where's the father?" Beckett queried. Melanie shook her head. "Who knows. Probably got a dozen more of Tyler running around out there somewhere."

Beckett nodded, understanding she didn't need to ask anything more on the subject.

Melanie called Tyler over. "Tyler honey, come here." The boy stopped his playtime with Castle and waddled over to her, she picked him up at put him on her knee.

"Alana was the biggest support I had after Tyler's father left. She was there when no one else was, but I guess it's just me and him now." Tyler cuddled into his mother's chest and for the first time since hearing about her sister's death, Melanie smiled.

Castle and Beckett walked along a New York street, dressed with brightly colored Autumn trees. It was comfortable like this, they both felt safer somehow in each others' presence.

"I'm beginning to think that Alana may not have known what kind of fish she was eating. Do we know if she had company that evening?" Castle asked Beckett.

"CSU are trying to obtain video footage from outside Alana's apartment on the night the murder occurred." Beckett answered him.

Castle raised an eyebrow. "Jumping the shark there just a tad, detective? We don't actually know that it was a murder yet."

"You're right , but someone is dead by unnatural causes, which means somebody is liable."

Castle grinned at her. "You've got that look in your eyes."

"What look?" Beckett frowned.

"That ''I'm going to catch the son of a bitch who did this'' look."

Beckett said nothing in reply but her frown was hard to keep in place.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hey all, thanks to those who have subscribed, favorited and commented. I'm glad you're all liking the story :-)_**

**_Enjoy the new chapter!_**

Beckett knocked on the door of Michael Zivanovic's apartment. Her and Castle waited not quite five seconds before Michael opened the door. "Hi, sorry no autographs today, but thanks for stopping by", he flashed them a cheesy grin and attempted to shut the door on them, but Beckett stopped it with her foot. She flashed her badge. "Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD, this is Richard Castle, we need to talk to you regarding Alana Vestig."

Michael's grin faded, to be replaced with a mixture of despondence and a hint of anger.

"Oh, well I don't know why you'd want to talk to me about her, we broke up a couple of months ago; I haven't seen her since. Last I heard, she was with that reject Paul Thompson." He shook his head. "Don't ask me what she sees in him, that guy has got less talent and charisma than Charlie Sheen."

"I'm afraid Miss Vestig is dead", Beckett said flatly.

Michael's eyes shot open "W-what? No! No, not Lana..." He began to sob uncontrollably right there in the doorway. Castle and Beckett looked at each other, shifting uncomfortably.

"Mr. Zivanovic, you say you hadn't seen or heard from Alana in two months?"

"Yeah, about that long. She hasn't really - ah - hadn't really been socializing with anyone since she got the lead on Girl About Town." He shook his head with a sad smile. "She was so stoked about it, worked herself to the bone to get every single cue and line right for the first day of shooting."

"So why'd you two break up?" Castle said a little sharply. Beckett was a little bit taken aback at his sudden abruptness.

Michael looked at Castle reproachfully. "Um, well I don't know really, we just wanted different things out of life I guess, but it doesn't mean I don- didn't still care about her. Man, I just can't believe I'm never going to see her again."

"Who broke it off?" Castle dug even further.

Michael inhaled. "She did."

"Mr. Zivanovic what were you doing Thursday evening, around 8?"

"I was taking a walk to clear my head and rehearse some lines, I find open spaces are less constricting on my acting energy."

"So you've obviously never done community theatre", Castle deadpanned.

Michael shot Castle another hardened look. Beckett cut across. "Is there anyone who can verify that?"

Michael turned to her and shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Who did you say Alana left you for?" Castle tried to ask nonchalantly.

Michael saw it as anything but, and he started shouting at Castle. "Hey man, she didn't leave me for anyone. She got with that Thompson idiot AFTER we were over!"

"Hey, you wanna keep your voice down!" Beckett snarled at Michael. "My partner was just trying to ascertain who exactly this guy is."

Michael took a few deep breaths, calming himself. "Paul Thompson, guy playing Alana's love interest on the show."

"Do you know where we can find him?" Beckett asked impatiently.

"Apartment building on the corner of 52nd and 3rd."

"OK, that's it for now. We'll be in touch." Beckett said shortly, fearing Castle and Michael's obvious feud might soon turn into a fist fight. Even though she was pretty sure Castle could take him.

She began walking away, Castle followed her, looking back at Michael behind his shoulder he murmured "Don't go too far."

Walking out of Michael Zivanovich's apartment, Castle exhaled loudly.

"You know he seriously looked like he wanted to crack your skull open", Beckett said to him, partly amused.

"And you don't think he's our killer?"

Beckett shrugged. "We don't have enough proof yet, his alibi is shaky though."

Castle scowled. "The guy just gives me the creeps."

"Yeah well, unfortunately giving someone "the creeps" is not a capital offense Castle". Beckett teased.

"You can't tell me he put you at ease though? I thought actors were supposed to be charming."

"Yeah well, he just lost someone that he cared about. Wouldn't you be that way toward people if someone close to you died?"

Castle stopped in his tracks. "I was." Beckett looked at him "'Sorry?"

Castle looked back at Beckett seriously. "When you were in that hospital I...I was on everyone's back. Making sure they were taking care of you. If you weren't their first priority at all times, it wasn't good enough for me. If anyone tried to tell me anything, even to reassure me, I'd just get so mad. I didn't want to hear about you eventually recovering, I just wanted it to happen."

Beckett considered him for a moment and then softly said. "Well that's a little different."

"Why?" Castle asked, thinking she'd say. "We're not together" or something similar.

"I survived." Beckett said, holding her head up high.

Castle's eyes shone slightly in the light of a of the sun and he slowly smiled at Beckett.

"Yes you did."

...

The partners walked through the courtyard of of "Patriata Studios", escorted by a security guard. "This is the "Girl About Town" lot right here." He grunted at them.

"Thank you" Beckett replied. Her and Castle walked into a huge hangar-like shed, which was almost so dark you couldn't see your way. Trying not to trip over the mess of cables lying on the floor. they finally made their way around a corner and were greeted by a facade of a kitchen.

Almost instantly, a short but athletic looking man with thinning blonde hair approached them. "Ooh, honey, are you auditioning for the role of Samantha?" He asked with a wink.

"Who are you?" Beckett asked without flinching.

"I'm whoever you want me to be baby", the man said, licking his lips and eyeing Beckett up and ...

"We're looking for Paul Thompson", Castle quickly butted in.

The man extended his hand. "Paul Thompson, AKA Chuck Rivers", he gave them an overly large bleached-teeth smile. "I'm the lead actor on Girl About Town."

"You're the lead?" Castle scoffed. "In a show called GIRL about town?"

The guy crossed his arms. "Alright, I'm one of the leads. Alana is the other, Alana Vestig? you probably haven't heard of her."

Castle and Beckett quickly looked at each other.

"As it happens, we have." Beckett said

"Oh really?" Paul said, with surprise. "I was pretty sure she was just an obscure little nobody before she got this gig. Did theatre stuff mostly; Off-Broadway."

"We're more familiar with her more recent appearances actually", Beckett said as she pulled out the picture of Alana's body.

"Oh my god. That's not - is that Alana?"

"I'm afraid so", Beckett responded.

Paul turned ghostly white "What happened to her?"

"She was poisoned".

"Poisoned?" Paul looked more surprised than distraught. "Are you sure?"

Beckett narrowed her eyes at him. "Positive."

"Weren't you two seeing each other?" Castle asked Paul.

"Oh, no. No we were for like a day but once the initial fire burnt out, we realized it just wasn't professional. Being in a relationship with someone you work with, it just gets messy."

Castle looked at Beckett out of the corner of his eye. She didn't notice.

Paul continued. "This job is like a dream come true, we both decided it wasn't worth sacrificing over a quick fling."

"So you didn't love her then?" Castle asked doubtfully.

Paul shrugged. "Lana was hot, but she definitely wasn't my one and done. Do you have any idea who might have done it?"

"We're just ruling out suspects at the moment." Beckett responded.

Paul held his hands up "Well hey, it wasn't me."

"Really? Where were you Thursday, around 8pm?"

"I was at a group meeting, at the Jackson Street community centre. I can give you the phone number of the coordinator if you like."

Beckett nodded "Thanks".

Paul walked around the pair and over to pick up a satchel, which he reached inside of. He pulled out a cellphone but in the process, he knocked out a pill jar, which clattered to the floor.

Paul discretely tried to stuff it back in his bag, but Castle was too quick for him.

"What are those?" He asked suspiciously.

"Oh, ah, just painkillers, I get migraines sometimes." Paul pocketed the pills and found the number he was looking for.

Beckett unclasped a pad and pen from her belt. "Let me." Castle said to her, reaching for the pad. Beckett gave him her most reproachful glare, and was about to ask him what the hell he was doing, but the way his eyes were boring into hers made her go slightly weak in the knees and she let the writing implements slip into his outstretched hands.

Paul gave them the number. "Ok thanks, we'll be in touch." Beckett said to him. "Come on Castle."

...

Back at the precinct, Castle was squinting at his phone.

Beckett walked past him, eyeing him up. "Interesting txt Castle?"

"Huh?" He looked up at her. "Oh, no. Something to do with the case."

Beckett stopped and looked at him expectantly. "Wanna fill me in?"

"Oh um, yeah. He stored his phone away. "Those pills Paul had in his bag, I wrote down the name of them."

She leaned in to him, interested.

"Incivek. The brand name of the drug Telaprevir. Not a standard painkiller."

"What's it used for?" Beckett asked.

A smile crawled across Castle's lips. "The treatment of Hepatitis C."

Beckett's mouth fell open, and she too began to smile. Their eyes locked, pulses rising, tension building...

"Hey." Esposito and Ryan came into the room, oblivious to the moment they had just disrupted.

Castle and Beckett straightened themselves up, both looking slightly flustered.

"So our hot shot acting partner Mr. Thompson, his alibi checks out. He was at a group meeting at the Jackson Street community centre." Esposito said.

"Yeah but here's the kicker", Ryan went on. "Guess what the meeting was for?"

"Hep C support group", Castle and Beckett said together.

Ryan's face fell. "How did you guys...?"

"Jar of pills fell out of his bag when we were questioning him. I looked up the brand name and discovered that they were a drug designed to delay the effects of the Hep C virus".

Castle said.

He then turned to Beckett. "I think we might have a few more questions for Mr. Thompson."


	4. Chapter 4

Paul Thompson sat in the interrogation room, looking shifty.

Beckett entered at sat down across from him.

"Hey can we make this quick? I'm supposed to be filming right now."

Beckett looked at him like she couldn't care less.

"Mr. Thompson, we know that you have Hepatitis C and so did Alana. We did an analysis on your particularl strain and matched it to Alana's blood results."

Paul swallowed.

"So", Beckett continued. "We know that no one wants to sleep with someone who is infected with a virus. So did you just not tell her you have it?"

Paul shut his eyes. "We never slept together."

Beckett looked confused. "Excuse me?"

Paul sighed. "Look, I didn't know I'd infected Alana until she started turning down every single meal and complaining of constant itching. Classic signs of Hep C. I know it sounds unlikely but just here me out ok?"

Beckett waited for him to continue.

"Alana's ex, Michael came to the studio one day to see her, starts pleading like a fool with her to give him another chance, but she told him that she'd moved on and that we were together now. As you can imagine, that went over _real_ well. He found out where I was and ended up knocking a couple of my teeth out. I didn't even think about the fact that I had open sores in my mouth the next time Alana and I kissed. It was her that initiated it, she was just so relieved that crazy ex of hers hadn't killed me. She really was sweet."

Beckett wasn't buying his story. "You're telling me you infected Alana by just kissing her?"

Paul shook his head sadly. "I can't believe I didn't think about the cuts. Poor Lana."

...

"I can't believe it. How is that even possible? It's like some sort of freak accident, right?"

Castle and Beckett were sitting in the living room of a very confused Melanie Vestig. They had promised her they would tell her exactly how her sister had contracted the disease as soon as they found out.

Beckett didn't want to stress the victim's sister too much, but there were some things she needed to get straight.

"Miss Vestig, how long were Alana and Paul seeing each other? Only he mentioned to us they hadn't actually been... intimate yet." She didn't think the woman needed to hear about her sister's sex life.

"No, no Alana was _not_ seeing that guy. She always said he was a creep."

"Is it possible that this was one thing Alana didn't share with you?" Beckett asked gently.

"No." Melanie was defiant. "My sister had higher standards than that. MUCH higher standards."

Castle and Beckett looked at each other, now even more confused.

...

Back at the precinct, Beckett, Castle, Ryan and Esposito were all sitting in silence, each mulling over their own theories in their minds.

Castle squinted at the board, his lips pursed, and then turned to Beckett.

"Let's just try something...come at me like you're going to kiss me".

Beckett blinked at him "What?" She said it rather loudly, and straight away Ryan echoed the short question, looking up at Castle with a bemused expression.

At once, Beckett's heart began beating at a rapid pace, but Castle looked at her dully

"I'm not actually going to kiss you, just running theory".

Beckett's face showed disappointment "Oh... alright then".

She cleared her throat and unconsciously licked her lips before very slowly rising from her seated position on the corner of her desk and tiptoeing, like a cat, toward Castle.

Castle had been truthful when he told Beckett he wasn't going to kiss her, but seeing the way her eyes were burning into his, in anticipation of whatever he was planning to do, all of Castle's intentions went out the window. Beckett was just beginning to wonder when he was going to stop her, when suddenly his lips were on hers.

Beckett's entire body froze; her brain and heart were no longer connected, and yet both had stopped. She forgot who and where she was and she drew in his scent as he deepened the kiss for the briefest of moments, before Beckett snapped back to reality.

She pulled away quickly, regrettably and tried to look angry at Castle. "I thought you said you _weren__'__t_ going to kiss me",

Ryan and Esposito were staring at the two of them, wide-eyed and open mouthed.

Castle, who was red in the face, said one word in reply "Exactly".

Now Beckett was confused. Castle took a rather shaky breath before continuing.

"Alana was in a relationship with Michael, when he becomes envious of her success as an actress, they break up. A few days later he comes back to her, begging her to take him back, saying he was sorry and that he'd been petty. But she's famous now, she doesn't need a drop-kick like him. So she lies to him stating that she is in love with her acting partner, Paul. Michael doesn't exactly take rejection easy. So he goes to see Paul and punches Mr. acting partner in the face, causing a tooth to become lodged in his gum, and Paul starts bleeding from the cuts. Now, Paul has always had a thing for Alana so when he thinks what Michael is saying is true, he makes his affections known to her, but she of course lets him down... and not so gently either, telling him she only said that so Michael would leave her alone. This doesn't go over so well with Paul. Next time they're running lines, he kisses her, but he had to keep it going long enough for the disease to transmit. And I think I've just proven that it is in fact possible to subdue someone who is totally unwilling, for just long enough."

A wistful look dressed Castle's face. "She just thought he was obsessed with her, she never knew he was trying to kill her."

Esposito brought him out of his daze. "Man, that theory is completely nuts. IF it's even remotely possible to get Hep C by kissing..." Castle interrupted. "Six cases in New York City in the last year of Hep C oral transmission". The three cops looked at him strangely. "Research for one of my new characters - that's a spoiler, no leaking". He put a finger to his lips.

Ryan spoke up. "There's another flaw in your logic." Castle looked indignant. "What's that?" Ryan looked at Beckett and then back at Castle. "This Paul guy was so far out of Alana's league it wasn't funny. There was no way Alana would want those greasy lips anywhere near her where it wasn't necessary. She would've pushed him off at the first inkling that he was getting anywhere close to being out of character." Castle's eyebrows furrowed. "What about me and Beckett just then, she wasn't up for _any_ kind of "mouth contact" and she went with it... for a while." He leaned in discretely to Ryan and whispered. "And there was definite tongue action".

"CASTLE!" Beckett had heard him, and was now a bright shade of pink.

Esposito peered up at Beckett. "Unless Beckett actually enjoyed being kissed by Castle?"

Castle's eyes bulged open and his head flung in Beckett's direction, tensely waiting for her reply. Ryan and Esposito were staring up at them both, waiting on tenter hooks.

Beckett longed to tell the truth, to not have to lie anymore, but she just wasn't as brave a woman as she was a cop.

She put on a straight face. "Of course not."

Castle looked at her, crestfallen. She had forced a smile onto her face, but there was nothing but sadness in her eyes.

A young cop approached Esposito and gave him a picture. He thanked him and then looked very intently at it. He turned to the rest of the team.

"Guys." He said to get their attention. "CSU just came back with a very interesting picture of Michael Zivanovic from around the time of the murder. Guess where security footage places him."

He spinned the picture around so everyone could see. Castle was the first to speak. "That's Alana Vestig's apartment building."

Esposito nodded with a satisfied expression.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks again for your kind support - you guys are awesome!**

**A/N: This chapter contains a mention of Ashley, who is no longer with our little Castle - it was written before 4x07 (AKA The best episode EVER :-D)**

Michael Zivanovic sat across from Beckett, shoulders heaving with dramatic sobs. Beckett looked on with the distinct impression that his acting was playing a part here. When he had composed himself he spoke more to the table than to Beckett. "That limey bastard. He knew he would infect poor Lana, knew she was way too driven to give up the part of a lifetime to even think about how sick she was... She deserved that part so much." He wept again. Beckett thought this was more out of guilt than anything.

"Michael!" Beckett shouted slightly. "What were you doing at Alana's house during the time of the murder?" She drew her words slowly.

Michael sighed with a shudder. "I went over to Lana's to collect some of my things that were still there. I'd been meaning to for like a month but I was getting lots of work and I couldn't seem to find the time. Anyway, we started talking and it was nice. Real nice. It felt just like the old days you know? She listened to me talk about how my mom was pressuring me to go back to college. You see, I was studying bio-chem for three years. Had all these plans to be a molecular biologist. But then I met Alana, who was doing Theatre at the time, and she just drew me in. Pretty soon, I was spending all my time in the college theatre. Alana introduced me to this whole new person that I didn't even know I was. I found myself in drama, and then in a relationship with Alana. Talking to her about all this, bringing back all these memories. Suddenly she remembered why she fell in love with me."

Next to Beckett, Castle rolled her eyes. Michael didn't see, instead he grinned.

"The make up sex with Alana was electric... God that woman was beautiful."

Beckett spoke forcefully. "What time was this Michael?"

Michael was pulled out of his reverie only slightly. "Uh, maybe like 7:30?"

"We have you leaving the apartment at 8pm."

"Yeah, that sounds about right." Michael said dumbly.

"We estimate that the victim was killed at around 8pm." Beckett stated clearly.

Michael look bewildered. "You mean, whoever killed Lana, might've been there just after me? I-I should've stayed, just a little longer- oh Lana, oh god Lana!" He began to weep uncontrollably.

Castle and Beckett both inhaled, trying to maintain their sanity.

...

It was 7:15 pm and Castle was making an omelette, with the TV blaring incessant advertisements when Alexis walked in the door of the loft.

"Hi honey, you hungry?"

"Hi Dad, no Dad." Alexis bounded up the stairs.

"Hey, hey, hey", Castle called up to her, hurt at not getting even a hug hello. "Where's the fire?"

"Sorry dad, but Ash has got like fifteen minutes before his fraternity meet, and I promised him I'd go online to wish him good luck."

Without another word, Alexis disappeared upstairs.

Martha walked into the kitchen, stealing a piece of celery from Castle's hand.

"Mother, I think I'm losing my baby", Castle said with a pout.

"Oh Richard, you'll always be Alexis' number one man. No matter how many others she might come across in her time, she'll only ever have one father."

"Yeah but I just feel like she doesn't want to hang out as much anymore, she doesn't need me anymore."

Martha looked at her grown son, turning into a puddle in front of her.

"Richard, are you crying?"

"It's the ONIONS!"

Martha patted him on the back.

Castle dried his eyes, while the ads changed on TV.

"Oh great."

"What?"

Castle sneered. "The guy on TV. It's one of our suspects. There's just something about him I reeeally don't like."

On the TV, Michael Zivanovic was saying "Come down to Seafood Planet, and sample some of our delicious calamari. Not to mention our squid, lobster, flatfish, cod, trout..." The ad faded out and Castle chortled.

"Ha, he thinks he's so successful because he keeps getting parts, I'm sure the casting directors were just desperate to find an actor who didn't mind going home smelling like smelly... fish. " Castle's face dropped, as a lightbulb blew in his brain.

"You alright dear?" Martha asked him, picking vegetables off the chopping board.

"Mother, kiss Alexis goodnight for me", Castle said, rushing to get his coat.

"Richard... For the record this could be why Alexis is losing any bond you two once shared!"

But he was already out the door.

...

There was a knock on the door of Beckett's apartment.

Beckett was sitting on her couch, immersed in case notes. She looked at her watch and then frowned in the direction of her front door, wondering who would be calling at this time of the night.

She walked to the door, and opened it. The sight that greeted her was pleasant but not all together surprising.

"Good evening Castle."

"Beckett. Can I come in?" He said, walking inside the apartment.

Beckett stood holding the door open, and squinted, amused. "Well, you just did, so..."

She smiled, shutting the door and turning around to face Castle.

"Have you seen the new ad for Seafood Planet on TV?"

"No. Not much of a fish eater lately Castle. Why?"

"I just saw it. Know who the spokesperson is?"

Beckett raised an eyebrow.

"Michael Zivanovic."

"So, what are you his manager now?"

Castle grimaced. "Yeah right. Beckett, it was an ad... for fish."

Beckett still looked oblivious, but then all at once, she clicked.

"Tetrodotoxin."

Castle nodded, a pleased little smile on his face. "We got him Kate."


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey all, thanks again so much for all the support - y'all rock!**

Beckett sat with Michael, in the interrogation room. Castle had said he couldn't bear to be in the same room as "that creep" again, and anyway he had some writing that couldn't wait.

"We know that it was you Michael. Yes Paul Thompson gave Alana Hep C, and it was making her very sick, could've even killed her very slowly and painfully. Beckett stared Michael down. "You probably spared Alana a lot of pain Michael."

Michael squinted at her. "What are you talking about?"

Beckett continued with a daringly low tone. "Alana's tox screen came back. When you said you'd been doing a commercial, you didn't mention it was a seafood commercial and that there were pufferfish present. The studio probably had them brought in to save money. You see, pufferfish aren't often eaten because they carry high levels of tetrodotoxin. But you knew that already after studying bio-chemistry for three years right?"

She shook her head at him in pity. "Poisoning Michael? The female preferred choice of killing. Then again, they all say you're quite the drama queen."

Michael shook his head, almost robotically. "I didn't come up with the method. I just carried it out."

"Oh really then who did?" Beckett asked doubtfully.

Michael continued shaking his head, silently.

"Who planned the murder of Alana Vestig?" Beckett shouted, hitting the table.

Michael's looked up slowly and said in an unsteady voice.

"Melanie Vestig. Alana's sister."

Beckett's mouth fell open. Her voice caught in her throat. She took a few deep breaths.

"Ok. Talk to me Michael."

"No! I won't do it. I won't hurt Melanie like that, I won't do that to Tyler."

Beckett still couldn't believe it. She tried to keep as calm and understanding as possible.

"You're in love with Melanie aren't you Michael?"

Michael began to cry, for real this time.

"If she confesses, we'll have you both for conspiracy to commit murder. You'll both be out in ten years." Beckett told him.

"Did Alana know?" Beckett asked.

Michael shook his head. "When Alana told me she wanted to break up, Melanie got really angry at her. Melanie has nothing. Alana's was always the favorite, even as kids. _She_ got to go to college, _she_ had all the opportunities. Melanie was cast out. She was forced into the arms of scumbag after scumbag. When I met her a couple of years ago, we hit if off, but she knew I was with Alana and she was pregnant with another man's kid. When he left a few months ago, Melanie was alone. Alana had been cast in that stupid show and was all of a sudden too high and mighty for family so when she dumped me, it was me that was there for Melanie. We fell in love. We were both so mad at Alana, so we started hatching plans to get revenge on her. Started out as just talk but then Mel started getting really serious about it. I couldn't say no to her, I was so in love with her."

Beckett shook her head, growing more and more disgusted. "If you were so in love with Melanie, then why did you sleep with Alana on the night you murdered her?"

Michael shrugged. "We had so much history, I couldn't help myself, she begged me."

Totally lame excuse. Beckett had heard enough, she rose from the table and walked towards the door. She called back to Michael over her shoulder. "You know, I take a little comfort in the fact that Alana had a virus, a really bad virus. So, if you two did have one last roll in the hay... for old time's sake?" Beckett did not turn around, instead she said silkily. "You might wanna see a doctor there Michael."

...

Beckett and Castle arrived at the suspect's run-down Brooklyn house, pulling in behind a squad car.

Two uniforms went into the house and come out with a frazzled looking Melanie Vestig.

Beckett passed her and gave her a look of disappointment. She and Castle continued inside, where they found Tyler, sitting on the floor, playing with his favorite toy car, completely unaware of the fact that he wasn't going to see his mother again for many years.

Beckett knelt down to Tyler and smiled at him. Castle did the same, extending his finger to him. "Hey buddy", he said. Castle looked up and found Beckett staring at him, a grin on her face. They held their gaze for several moments, until a young cop walked into the room and spoke.

"Detective Beckett. He's here."

"Thanks." Beckett said to the cop.

"Who's here?" Castle asked her.

"You bring him out Castle, he likes you more", Beckett said, motioning toward Tyler.

Castle didn't ask anything more, he just leaned down and gently picked up the boy.

"Come on little guy", he cooed.

The three of them went outside where a man with shoulder-length blonde hair was speaking to the cop. He did a double-take toward Tyler and then beamed. "Tyler!" He shouted.

Castle took a step back, protecting the boy. The man looked affronted.

Beckett took note of how protective Castle was of the young child, and softly touched him on the arm to reassure him.

"Castle, this is Mark Dillon; Tyler's father."

Nervously, the man stepped forward and shook his son's small hand. "Hey Tyler, you remember me? I'm your dad." He looked at Castle. "Can I hold him?"

"He's your kid." Castle said, trying for ambivalence, but he sounded sad. He passed Tyler to his father.

Mark took the toddler into his arms. "Hey Ty, hey pal", he said softly, tears starting to form in his eyes.

"Where have you been for the last four months?" Castle couldn't stop himself asking.

"In Florida, helping my mom set up her Condo. She's been sick so I had to stay with her. As soon as I heard about this though, I had to come. Come and get my son." Mark didn't take his eyes off Tyler once as he said this.

"Great", Castle thought to himself. "He's a saint." He wasn't sure why that bothered him, he should be happy that Tyler was going to a genuinely good parent for the first time in his life, but he had felt a kind of connection to the boy, even just over the space of a few minutes.

Tyler began to giggle in his father's arms.

"Thank you so much. Both of you." He shook Beckett and Castle's hands.

Castle put on his best front.

"You're very welcome. Bye Tyler." Beckett waved goodbye to the toddler.

Father and son walked away. Once they were out of earshot, Beckett turned to Castle. "You ok there Sentimental Sam?"

Castle rolled his eyes at her. "Funny."

"Hey", she stroked his hand with her thumb. "I know you really had a bond going there. I'm sorry Castle."

Castle nodded solemnly. "I just hope the little guy gets the life he deserves."

They took one last look at Mark and Tyler, who were now playing on a swing set in the back yard, laughing joyfully.

"Well, at least life will be better tomorrow than it was today. For both of them." Beckett said.

Castle turned to her, suddenly realizing their hands were still touching. He captured her hand inside his and gave her a warm smile of gratitude. Discretely, they walked hand in hand to the car.


	7. Chapter 7

**So yes this is the final chapter of this particular story. I hope to do some more writing very soon, and currently I'm milling over a couple of ideas for new fics, so watch this space! Thank you once again for your support and I really hope you enjoy the final chapter. **

**Peace! **

They drove back to the precinct, to finish up some paperwork - well Beckett did at least.

Castle sat perched in his usual chair at the end of Beckett's desk, writing fervidly.

He felt a presence behind him, warmth radiating from just above his left shoulder.

"New material?" He heard the lady detective's voice say. He hastily stuffed away the papers as she made her way to her seat. "Detective Beckett, your highly inquisitive tendencies do not suit me when I am in the middle of writing top secret, world-changing story lines."

Beckett raised an eyebrow. "So this is obviously something other than Kate Beckett the biography then?" Castle gave her a half exasperated - half amused look "You mean Nikki Heat?" "Oh yes that's the one", Beckett smirked.

Castle grinned, he couldn't believe how accepting and even affectionate Beckett had become of her alter-ego. He would never forget the look on her face when he described the character to her for the first time. A mixture of rage and shock, particularly following the words "kinda slutty".

"Meaning no offense here Kate, but you do know that you aren't the only thing that inspires me here. The precinct, the cases, even the idiots we get coming through here everyday; and I'm not just talking about Esposito and Ryan". Beckett tried not to smile at him. Castle continued. "They're all in a way my muses."

Beckett leaned intoxicatingly close to him and whispered more sultrily than she meant to "But I'm what keeps bringing you back every. single. day." Castle closed his eyes as her breath on his face made him shiver. After he caught his breath he croaked "That's true".

Their eyes met with a jolt of electricity. Beckett sucked on her bottom lip before speaking again.

"Castle why did you that before?... Kiss me I mean. You know you didn't actually have to do that to prove your theory."

Castle swallowed a lump in his throat. "Maybe not, perhaps I needed to do it to prove something else though." Beckett looked at him seriously. "Like what?"

This was too much for Castle, and he wanted out. He stood up abruptly to escape and was rocked to the core when Beckett grabbed his arm and said with more conviction than she thought she could muster "Rick!"

Turning back around slowly he looked up at her with shame. He felt like such a coward.

She loosened her grip but never relinquished her grasp on his arm. "I know", she finally choked out. Castle lifted his gaze to meet her fiery eyes. "I know", she repeated smoother this time, and he knew that she knew. She'd heard.

Looking around the room, and seeing no one in the direct vicinity, she stood and stepped forward to cup his cheek with her gentle palm.

Castle sighed into her warm hand, turning his head slightly, allowing his lips to lightly graze her skin. If Beckett's heart had been rapid earlier, then now it was more like a thunderstorm in her chest. Every fiber of her body went numb as she tentatively took one step and then two toward him.

Both breathed raggedly, both anticipating what was now bound to happen. Beckett bowed her head and spoke ever so softly. "I didn't enjoy that kiss today, I couldn't. Enjoyment only occurs when a person has a sense of what's going on. As soon as our lips met I lost all consciousness. All those things you just mentioned; the precinct, the case, Ryan and Esposito... they all disappeared. For all I could tell _I_ was Alana Vestig. Only for as much loathing as she felt for Paul Thompson, that's how much love I felt for you."

Castle stared straight at her now, not believing this could really be happening. "Rick", she said for the second time in two minutes. Oh man. How could just his own name sound so enticing? "I love you too."

Castle thought he might float away if Beckett's hand wasn't still holding him.

Struggling to speak, Castle said slowly "Kate. About a year ago, we kissed for the first time. It wasn't planned, and we never talked about it again. It's taken us a year Kate, and I kissed you today because to me, that was about a year too long. Inhaling, he closed whatever space was left between their two bodies. "And now I don't think I can wait another second."

Beckett only got out the word "Don't" before the word "Wait" was engulfed by Castle's mouth. They kissed like no two people had ever done so before. At least not in the confines of the 12th. And at last the weight of that wait had been literally swallowed into the endless abyss of their love.


End file.
